Lanzo, I think of forgiveness as an acceptance of the injustices of the past and a willingness to live with the pain it caused. It also involves not acting-out or reacting to the pain in a way that causes harm in the present.
In order for there to be a letting go, there first has to be a staying with. Does this make sense?
Once we stay with the emotions, we can then observe how our mind is reacting to these emotions. We can see how we put ourselves in a victim mode. We can see how we judge our spouse. We can see how we want to act-out our painful emotions.
It's a practice, not an easy one, but an essential one. I would say that unless the LBS navigates this issue, D is likely to ensue.
Once we become skillful at managing our emotions, than there is potential for healing in the R, and healing conversations which is what you're striving for.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
