Boy! I bet that got attention!!! No, I'm not anyone's OW, but I'm reading a book by Anita Shreve (she wrote "The Pilot's Wife") And there's an interesting comment that one of the characters made and I want to share it here.
In this book the character had married a brilliant and famous man who had left his wife and two children.
Here's her comment: "When a man leaves his wife and children for another woman, there's a burden on that woman. She has to be worth the sacrifice."
The other character replies, "I'm sure you were."
And her reply is, "No one is worth that kind of sacrifice...."
She then explains how this personally affected her, "To be worth the sacrifice, every word had to be incandescent." In other words, she had to always seem the "better choise," sort of a perfect, flawless being.... or else he'd be left with huge regret, and he would always feel she was somewhat responsible for his loss.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
