I wouldn't worry about whether or not I felt guilt and what that means, or sad because I left the "love of my life" (OW)..... try to just worry about today and the friendship you are building or rebuilding with your wife. And creating a great family with your children and their mom.
I think you can be honest and tell your wife that your feelings are "unsettled." Tell her you know what's right and wrong and want to keep your family together, be with your kids and try to create a great family and a good marriage. Tell her you want to work on being a wonderful husband and father, and that's your goal. Tell her feelings take time to rebuild. Unfortunately, it may to be difficult to "love" your wife right now. She may be a little emotional for about a year or so. Even a short affair can take a good year or two to work though. The damage can be pretty heavy. Good luck to you. I think you are wise to want to stay with your family and raise your own children. I do admire people when they make that choise and I believe in the long run you will be most content with your family and your kids....
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
