Posting to get things off my chest

[mishka422]

Cinders, I think your text was wonderful. You needed to say that to him. That was horribly disrespectful to you and he has no right to discuss you, your dog, your kids, your hangnail, NOTHING HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU with his OW! You had to stand up for your rights and you did it in a really respectful manner. Good for you! I probably would have ripped the phone out of his hand right then and there and thrown in into the wall.

[snowmm]

Cinders,

I am so sorry about your dog and the way your husband was disrespectful to you.

BUT I so pleased the way you TM'd him. A couple of months ago I asked my H if there was anyway to shut of the caller id on the phones in our house from his office phone and just show our home phone (girlfriend calls him on his office line). Supposedly there is no way to do that but he figured out that it upset me when I had to see her number so he asked her not to call him on either the house phone or work phone anymore. When his cell phone rings when we're together he either doesn't answer it or it's not her and then he will talk to the person. I haven't had to hear him have a conversation with her in many months...at least since last October. Pray about it. It may be one of those prayers that you see an answer to.

Cinders, don't give up. You have (and still are) been such an inspiration to many of us here. Ask God to give you more strength and to help you through the small problems until the big problem has been chipped away to another small problem.

[short1]

Cinders,

Sorry about your dog and the call just to make things harder at an already stressful time. Good work on the text!

Having gone through this when the fires were here (OW calling me to get my H) I know it really doesn't help. They are so unaware of our feelings it is amazing. So saying it out loud and clearly seems to help...and helps us.

[a new 2moro]

thrown in into the wall. \:\)

thats what cow did when h sent her a txt meant for me...hahaha

cinders. you were brilliant. there goes your h again testing that boundary...notice how he does that periodically ..now he will pout and be huffy cos you stood your ground.

im so sorry about your dog. one of my corgis was in a wheel chair for a year...but thats alot smaller than a great dane

[Drew]

Cinders,

Great text message!!

-Drew

[MissH]

I posted to you yesterday to tell you what a great job you did with the TM and it got lost in cyberspace! I hate when that happens!

How are you today?

[Cinderellaman]

HI all !

Well, I have made an appointment with the vet tomorrow at 2.30pm to put our dog down. I will be extremely sad, and will surely cry yet another day....but I think this was my limit to helping her and I cannot do anymore for her.

I told H I was changing the date to tomorrow and he got a bit angry and said, well, I don't know what my 'agenda' is like tomorrow and I think you could have some consideration for that...I said, well if you want to be there I'm sure you'll make sure you make it, if not then I will go by myself..he got angry.

I have talked to my 2 dearest friends about last night and about the TM I sent...they both said that I cannot stop him interacting about OUR stuff with ow...SO...I think that I can set a boundary about him not talking to ow in my house, but that is IT...I cannot tell him that some things are none of her business...because they are now in a relationship and therefore his business is her business...

what I have found out is that NOTHING is private between me and H anymore...ow will always know about it.

Also, my friend said to me, 'Cinders, it does not matter how much you try to be sweet and kind...he didn't leave you for YOU, he left his LIFE...he didn't want the responsibility, he didn't want to be tied down....he wanted to be free to do what he wants. ow fits perfectly into this...but I don't. Will he ever have regrets ? I have NO idea, for he is not thinking about this at all !

Oh well, I hope you understand.

[Cinderellaman]

Thanks MrsH, Drew and Patti !

And Patti...yep, same reactions just different moment in time ! Is this the so called cycling ?

[Jeanette1120]

Awwwwwwww geeeeez

{{{HUGS}}}

This is just awful Cinders! I hate that this is happening to you right now!! I wish I could just bundle you all up and take you away from this madness of our so called life!!

I really do....

Be well Cinders, God is with you every step of the way.

Jeanette

[WCW]

Cinders, I agree that the txt message was just what needed to happen. I hope it has worked in a positive way and that your H hasn't made it tough on you for doing that.

I wanted to ask if you've thought about getting a 2nd opinion about your dog? I had a dog that got kicked in the leg and was going into shock. I got him to the vet and when they read the xray films they told me the bone was shattered and referred me to a doggie orthopedic surgeon that would cost me thousands of dollars. Luckily I wasn't able to get an appointment there until days later and had time to do more research on my own, found a different vet that was even closer and could take my dog right away. When this vet looked at the films he knew the joint was dislocated and the small bone alongside was fractured as a result of the dislocation, simple surgery (and many casts and bandages) fixed the leg, my dog recovered just fine, and it cost me less than half of who they recommended.
It's so hard to lose a faithful dog companion, I wish you all the best. (((Cinders)))