STOP!!! You are obsessing...you have stayed wayyyyy too close to H's situation...you need to be okay with the process that is going on...if he seems chipper...good!...if he is on his own and happy with it...good!...maybe this is exactly what he needs to settle things with himself...
I can tell you it is also wayyyy to early to thinking about working things out...you both need to lay that down for now and just let things be...what would you do if he called and wanted to work things out now?...you need to think about this carefully...because to be quite honest for you guys to get through this crisis you will have to have time of NOT working on your R and working on yourselves...being okay with who YOU each are...not identifying yourself with the other...if he were to want to start working things now I can almost promise you that it would start another cycle you don't want to take...
So sit back...be patient...let him find himself and grow up...let him be happy with being on his own...this is the only way he can be happy with you eventually...it is a process...it does take time...and yes, feelings for OW will take time for him to fully process...for my H it took a few years and he didn't even spend as much time with her as your H has with his OW...you can't take this too personal or you will get lost in the junk of all of it...
Take care...keep busy...leave him alone...quit analyzing it all...allow the process to take place without trying to manipulate it....
