As usual I'm at a loss. It's my opinion that you shouldn't believe what you hear about "your changes" or lack thereof. If you are satisfied with who you are, then no reason to go overboard proving your someone you're not.
What do you do to GAL? It sounds like every minute that you aren't at work is with her. Do you have even one single evening that's just you? Is this what life will be with her...one devoted entirely to trying to make her happy when she doesn't choose to be? To avoiding disagreements? You stated your points about OM and they were valid. If she has a problem with that then it's her problem and not yours. Even if you were happily married the amount of effort you put towards her doesn't make sense. You don't have to go dark, but you might want to take a step back. At least pick a couple days a week where you have a planned activity that does not allow for you to grab dinner together, etc. You might be in this for the long haul. You might want to find something that recharges your batteries.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
