First, a few boring statistics... I'm going by memory to make a point. Please don't quibble about a few % points here. We all know approx. 50% of all marriages fail. 2nd marriages fail about 62% of the time, 3rd about 70%. I've read that approx 80% of all married couples are separated at sometime in their marriage for 2 months or more. (I know I've been separated by work for a month, and by emotion for months, even tho she never left). 14% of all divorced couples eventually remarry EACH OTHER!!! 2/3rds of all divorced couples would choose to stay married to each other if they could have solved the primary difficulties that led to the breakup. Many people who are divorced never seriously try to save the marriage before the divorce.
Secondly, no matter what happens, you will have a relationship with W for the rest of your lives. There will be graduations, marriages, grandchildren, funerals, countless events that will keep you bound together. How you handle your current relationship conflicts can greatly affect the success of the future relationship. Secondly, a separation is simply a time apart. You were separated when she went on her cruise, will be when she goes to Philly, have been when you have gone away on business. Some people separate by saying they are moving to Mom's house for a while to clear their head. Others feel compelled to get a lawyer involved and get a legal separation. It is also possible to have a completely protected separation (avoiding future charges of abandonment) by making a simple written agreement about the terms of "moving to Mom's", including a time frame, a time to re-evaluate, financial details, visitation details. There are lots of books on the subject. Point is, none of this is ever final. It's just a new chapter in an evolving "love story".
Hang in there. You are doing the right thing being here and holding strong. You will be stronger as a result, and your relationship and family will be better off as a result. I promise.
