Boy, you take the afternoon to make a 5 hour round trip drive to midtown (50 miles away...), and look what happens on Tree's board!!!
Sometimes, it's ok to keep score on a day. Not always, because some days are bad, but yesterday, you scored big. Here's a recap:
Diamond Comment: Score: -1 for W. REason: It's ALWAYS been time for her. It's not necessarily your fault that she didn't make the time for her before. The fact that she has to be in your face about it, AND that you didn't react to the bait actually scores -1 for her. Score: W -1 T 0
Endorfins: Good Job! 1 point. Net Score, T 2, W 0
Meeting with Psych: Neutral. More on that later.
Being stopped by friends telling you how great you look: 1 pt for each occurance, 5 pts / day. Net score: T 7, W 0
GP Visit: Multlple points here... Personal comments from Doc: 1 pt. The fact that Doc is a Woman!!!: 1 more pt. The good report (at 48): 3 pts. Net score: T 12, W 0
W noticeing PMA: 1 pt that she noticed, 3 pts that she got Pi--ed!!!! Net Score: T 16, W 0
W commenting that she's going to Philly (SO THERE): 1 pt for T... T offering to Drive her to train: PRICELESS!!!!!
So, you won yesterday. Now don't get cocky about this. The problem is, points don't hold over day to day, so you start at 0 / 0 today and everyday. No extra credit for scoring big yesterday, you have to do it all again today, tomorrow, etc. Your job is to score big always!
Comment about Psych (applies to D attorneys as well). Psych's job is to get you to feel better, not necessarily to help you save your marriage. Some will in fact push us to end the marriage because it's causing us pain. Kind of like cutting you leg off if you sprain an ankle. Divorce Attorneys are similar... Their job is to help you with the legal aspects of the final separation. They measure their success by how many divorces they get each year, and how much of the marrital assets they secured for their client. Their job it to get you DIVORCED. When ever you deal with either of these animals, it's important that you remember (and they also) that they are working for YOU. You need to be very clear with them about what your goals are and hold them to helping you meet those goals. If they can't/won't, fire them. I saw a MC with W who actually told me that she couldn't see me any more until W was in a better place to work on M. I know that 2 weeks later, she told W to "get this divorce going and finished as quickly as possible, otherwise it would take years..." This from a COUPLES THERAPIST. I also have consulted with divorce attorneys and was very clear with them that I didn't want a divorce, but my wife was talking about it, and I needed to know my rights. Only 1 of 5 was sympathetic to my goals and helpful. The others couldn't finish the interview quickly enough, and one even insisted that I should want to file by the end of the week, to get the upper hand on the proceedings. The point is, these professionals are conditioned to help you alone reach the goals they have been trained to provide. Be very careful with them.
