So does this mean we're on the mend?

[Michael Mc C]

You may be right Pamar. It may be time slow things down a bit.

Time for some journalling I guess: Things have been really good lately. We have had some very open and honest discussions, with a lot of emotion and really no angry words. It's as if something has changed overnight with the way she speaks to me.

I have, on 3 occassions, sent her emails over the past 2 weeks that could have resulted in anger, accusations, yelling or simply the cold shoulder (it was not my intent to upset her but I MUST be honest with her). Her responses to each of these has been kind, gentle, understanding, humorous and not at all defensive. She explains herself very clearly now and she speaks in a hopeful way.

I'm simply amazed by this. We have quite a way to go, I know.

We are going out this Friday for sushi. The plan was originally for the two of us to go, with her brother and his GF and another DB'ing couple that I went out with a few weeks ago. The 'party' has grown from 6 to about 13 - hope we don't scare any new friends off!!

I have sent a link to Retro to my wife but we have not yet discussed it.

Maybe a little help this Friday is in order...

One thing to mention. We had a bit of a disagreement over the weekend and in an email (one of the previously mentioned) I discussed the OM. She responded to that point with her hopes that he chokes on his lies...

I was actually disturbed by this because as much as she says she has reached indifference regarding him, it is apparently not the case. So in another email I mentioned that as long as she has that anger and pain, she cannot be FULLY HERE. Her response to this, via email first and then verbally, was "you've done massive amounts of research, you know that anger is one of the phases. This is a good sign, it is progress."

I couldn't help but laugh. She's right. I am expecting too much too soon. She also recognizes that there IS a goal here - one that I am fairly confident we share.

Two days ago she told me that she feels we have made great strides in rebuilding/reconnecting. She thoroughly enjoys my company and still finds me fun and attractive. Damn. I feel like I'm bragging here.

I've written enough but I think I owe LWB a response from A LONG time ago regarding the game my wife likes to play - the same one I started to play "under the radar"... she caught me about 5 weeks ago. At first she thought it was great and really enjoyed playing with me KNOWING it was me now (we interacted a lot in the game but she didn't know it was me). After a few days she began to resent my actions and the actions of her online friends who had helped me. She stopped playing the game with me and stopped playing with those friends. After about a week she slowly came back into the game and reconnected with those friends, had some discussions with them regarding her feelings of being betrayed but admitted that none of us intended anything underhanded. We, too, have had many discussions about it, including this weekend when she told me how happy she is that I play the game with her.

This has been a huge contributor to our reconnection even though it really is a very small part of the time we spend together. Amazingly, this tiny aspect has opened up so much more to us. As was my plan from the beginning (well, since October 24th anyway), this was something we could share and it has lead to more sharing and healing than I even dreamed of. I had hoped she wouldn't learn about my character until we were "better". I am so happy it turned out this way though.