here comes the sun.,...It will be alright

[Michael Mc C]

Hey there Husband, I've been absent for a couple of days (lurking mostly). It's been mentioned before but remember that this conversation you're going to have is quite possible going to appear to be coming out of the blue.

Your W's initial rection may be shock, anger, hurt whatever - just be sure you've got everything in check on your side so you can determine how best to proceed.

I don't know how long it's been since you and your W actually had any real relationship discussions.

I know in my W's case when we weren't discussing things, she seemed fine with life. Each time something came up, however, she would become distant, act very defensive and often she would become offensive (verbal attacks - nothing nasty but turning things around so that it was always my fault).

Maybe instead of 'giving' her the freedom to do what she wants, why not just sit and talk with her to find out where she is (outside of her concerns about a job and finances). If she comes back with saying that she hasn't thought about the M because of other issues calmly tell her that since April of last year, that's ALL you've been able to think about. Explain your understanding of the importance of a job and a release of the financial burden but likewise you would like her to understand what is on your mind and what has been weighing on you.

You know your wife (and I probably do too since we seem to have married the same woman sometimes) so you will know how best to handle this. Forget anything alien/foggy about her. Speak to her the way you spoke to her when she was the woman you married. It may not be the "right" time for her but this certainly seems to be the RIGHT time for YOU.

Best of luck my friend.