No need for me to push W for R talks, she surprised me by starting some before lights out. She said she has noticed that I wasn't wearing my wedding ring. I said that's correct. She asked if I would be putting it back on. I told her I've thought long and hard about this and I won't be putting it back on, but I would wear a new one. W says I'd have to buy a new one myself because a new one would mean nothing to her. I told her the old one means nothing to me now. She asked me if she should take hers off, I told her no,but it would be her decision if she did take it off.
W then said she's sad and disappointed that we've never really celebrated any of our wedding anniversaries, I said we must have but we haven't really celebrated the last 3. W says the first Christmas that we tried to celebrate on our own as a married couple was cr*p so the first wedding anniversaries must have been the same, so since then she hasn't put her heart in to celebrating the event.
Actually when I think about it W does have a point, there has always been some drama which occurred around wedding anniversary time which meant we weren't talking or just didn't celebrate.
1st 1998 W unhappy at living in my old house 2nd 1999 W moved out and living with her parents 3rd 2000 Maybe exchanged of cards but we just moved to new house 4th 2001 W in Hospital before birth of D6 5th 2002 W was funny with me all year, I thought she had postpartum 6th 2003 FIL recovering from Cancer W spent lot of time with him. 7th 2004 W & I not talking, the previous month W had told me the M is over. 8th 2005 W not talking to me and has become involved with OM. 9th 2006 Me not in the mood to celebrate, events of previous year still fresh on my mind 10th 2007 W Involve in PA with OM again.
I said to W that its obvious to me that the wedding annaversay is a big thing for her and rather that harbour resentment about me not making the effort, we have to talk about and what we do for the future. It has to be part of the healing process and how we managed our future M.
Anyway I hope she caught that last bit cos I stopped talking when I heard her snoring.
