Help...feel frustrated, helpless and sad! WAW/?MLC

[bombardier50]

Hey Purr,

I know how you feel. Know that it will ease with time. You will start to detach. I'm going to take apart some of the things you said and lets see if it helps.

I also said that I think I felt sad because this is the first time in 8 years that one person has taken vacation time separately from the other. She seemed to understand, but I think it was too much.

OK...probably not the best reaction. She feels pressure now. Here's how you might recover. I think you need to take a vacation, too. Maybe you've always wanted to learn fly fishing, or rock climbing, or how to drive a race car. Think of something you always wanted to do, then plan the trip. Then, the next time you see her, casually mention how she inspired you to take your own vacation, and thank her, and tell her you hope she enjoys herself.

I feel like she is quite liking her life as it is. I'm fearful of her taking trips and having "epiphanies" while she is away about ending things.

You have absolutely no...none...nada...zip control over any of this whatsoever. If you don't let go, if you don't drop the rope, you will go nuts. I guar-an-tee.

I feel like I just don't have the support and friendships.

Dude! Here's something you have control over! Fix this...

We don't have anything scheduled re: seeing each other or anything, and I feel like it would be good to talk about the R.

AAAHHHHHH!!!!! Sorry, lost control for a second.

My friend...this is the worst...the absolute worst thing you could do. DO NOT talk about the relationship unless SHE brings it up. Please don't make the same mistakes I did. You end up old, lonely, and half insane...like me.

I don't know if I should contact my W. at all to say something about my reaction today...I almost feel like I should apologize.

Two words: zip it.

Back in my flying days, I spent many years as an instructor. Young guys would get in the jet, we'd take off, fly around a bit. They'd get overwhelmed, get lost, get sick, puke all over everything, and generally just give up.

That's when I'd grab their oxygen hose and close my fist around it and look them right in the eye and tell them if they didn't do something to save themselves they were totally f*cked because I was going to pull the handles and punch out right then and there and let them auger themselves into the ground.

Worked every time.

Save yourself. She's punched out.

Bomb