Back on the Roller Coaster - OW still around

[micoms]

FA,

I don't know what is in your H's head right now, I've never been there. I read somewhere that the S has to greive over the death of the arrair with the OP. Cold this be what is going on? He could be greiving and feels confused as to why he's feeling that way, add in the regret and guilt over what he's done and a sense of worthlessness over not getting the job. Still no excuse for not answering or returning calls from D.

Maybe you could try what I did. I told my D24's boyfriend I was going out for a couple of drinks with a friend. W overheard and thinks I'm dating, parked my car a couple of streets over. She drove by and didn't se my car in front of the house and jumped to the conclusion that I spent the night "with a girl". W hasn't contacted me yet, but she has asked D19, S27, D24's BF and my best friend if I'm dating. This has had the biggest reaction from my W since the bomb. What would H do if he thought you had a date? He might check up on you like my W did. Now she has a seed of doubt planted in her head. Maybe she is jealous, maybe your H thinking you're moving on will make him jealous also.

I think yor letter is a good thing, rewrite it add to it, pour your feelings into it. Just don't ever send it to H. It will fell good just to get the words out of your head. I know I've written a couple of letters that I never sent, filed them away. Maybe someday I'll give them to her.

I don't think you are where you were a year ago. H says now he wants to be a family again but doesn't know how or what to do to acheive that. A year ago he said he was done. He may still see OW, but now you are the OW to her. Now's the time to turn the tables.

Mike