Posting to get things off my chest

[Cinderellaman]

Hi dear friends,

I haven't posted much about myself lately...I've been trying to live my life focusing on the positives...and being greatful for them.
It has been easier since then.

However something has happened....our dog who had the terrible accident last November (she got caught on a fence, trying to escape) well, she is going to need even 3 or 4 more months of intense fysio therapy, 3 weeks of antibiotics, cleaning of the paw every day AND to top it all off some kind of therapy to help her with her fear of being alone and therefore destroying things (doors, electricity sockets, pillows, ANYTHING...)

This all rests on MY shoulders, because H has said that he cannot help me as the he cannot take the dog to his appt in the city ! So, if I decide to go on with all these treatments, it will be ME and only ME who has to do it and who will be responsible for it.

Well, I have many many issues with this...I can't go into all of them here. The vet came over today and as a miracle, H came too....he was here all the time and we all discussed the situation. We have decided that if I do not change my mind before that time then we will put down our dog on Monday.

I will keep you posted on this.

As the vet was about to leave ...at 9.30pm H's phone went off, it was ow !!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe my ears when he actually picked up and started telling her about the dog and what we had been discussing ! I nearly freaked out then and there, but just calmly asked him after a few minutes to please call her back later. He hung up quickly after that.

I cannot believe she called ! Asking whether he and the dog were ok !?! I mean he was here for 2,5 hours ! And she felt the need to call allready ! URGH.

I feel like calling him or texting him now that I do not like him telling her about me and all my troubles and how I was so upset about this all....because you see in my eyes it is NONE of her business !

I bet you will all say NOT to call, but I really feel like doing it, right now. URGH.

Oh well, just when I was doing so well....

[Maya44]

I'm so sorry Cinders! I would want to call him to actually.

[Drew]

Cinders,

I'm sorry about your dog.

You're right. I'm gonna tell you not to call him. At least not right now. Wait 48 hours. Then, if you still want to call ........

[MissH]

Sorry about your pup. I am sure you don't want to see him suffer, so maybe it will be best to put him at peace. ((((hugs))))

Now about your H, that was really disrespectful. I don't know what advice to you give you, but Drew is right, wait on it.

[Cinderellaman]

Thanks so much Dar, Drew and Mrsh....

I guess I shouldn't call, afterall, I am trying to be his friend not his wife, but at this time, it feels horrible that she has her claws in him and that she is - in my eyes - pretending to be oh so concerned about our dog !
URGH - I just can't stand it.

I hate that she is the one that gets to hear about what a looser I am for having cried all day...YUK !

[Drew]

Cinders,

Let it go. You don't what they're doing or talking about and making assumptions only makes it worse.

Easy to say, hard to do, I know.

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((Cinderellaman)))))
I don't think I have posted to you before, read your threads often, though.

Sorry about your dog, and your H was way out of line!

We all know that YOU are NOT the loser in this thing! Don't forget it!

[brandnewday]

(((((((Cinders))))))))

I am sorry about the dog, your children must be very upset.

And yes, I would be pissed off as hell if I were in your situation.

But I do not understand why you can't tell him that you would prefer he didn't discuss you and your problems with the OW, especially in front of you, in your home.

There are ways to do things in a calm and mature way without sounding like the psycho bitch from hell!

You are not a loser. She is, he is but not you!

Sending hugs

((((((((hugs)))))))))

[Cinderellaman]

Thanks Drew...I will try to let it go yes.

Thing is, I don't think I'm just assuming anymore. He has moved on. He is with ow now. That is his life, he has no intentions of coming back to this pile of responsibilities. And she is only trying to play the concerned sweet ow, so that she stays in his good books, it makes me sick. Especially since this issue concerns US, not her, if ever we have to discuss the kids or something concerning them, I wouldn't want her sticking her nose in it either, but H is giving her far too much room.

Dry-Heat, thanks for posting, you are very kind. Why is it that sometimes we tend to feel the 'loosers'...in all of this.

[Cinderellaman]

Faith, thanks so much for posting ! I have missed you by the way !!!!

How would you suggest I tell him this nicely and maturely? I want to learn, because if there is ever an issue concerning our kids, I don't want him discussing things with her either - and definately not infront of me !!

Love you xxx