no offense taken -believe me, I'm scratching my head here too. One thing is - it's definitely not the sex that has me hooked- that was never the issue with W. In fact, AP made me feel old sometimes - she being a little younger and challenging in an athletic way, if anything I would be afraid of AP's likelihood to get bored with me!
As for leaving those who love us - I think men grow weary of Love as a means to control - "I love you, so you do what I say". in other words, don't baby us to death. We are suspicious of women's love, and over time may want to confirm to ourselves that part of being a man is being self-sufficient and not being needy- and that includes being needy for love. Most men don't say to themselves "my goal is life is to be surrounded by people who love me" . Instead, they are more likely to say "my goal in life is to be surrounded by people I love." In this way, if W becomes a transparent fixtur,e or a nag, or a pain, or critical and loathsome, the man may reassess what he's doing. In my case, it's actually worse than that. Because I think most men would have to admit that at SOME point in the past they had a wonderful vision of a happy future with this person. And in theory those men can return to this vision - they can attempt to reconjure it, in order to make the M viable. Sadly, I am bereft of this Vision. I just don't have it. I didn't know what I was doin when i got married, and have simply tried to make the best of it. With the A i knew exactly what I was doing - I was deliberate and proaactive. It was wonderful, as painful as it is to those i've hurt. This is what I mean about not feeling remorse - I just dont. I think wveryone, including W, deserves a chance to be in love at least once in their life. I have now had mine -it was exquisite. What I do now is still a question mark, but I fear that without remorse and a strong sense of commitment the M is doomed.
