here comes the sun.,...It will be alright

[Dr LOve]

Well Nikb was right.

here ya go a New thread

dr Love

[saffie]

I like the new thread title......don't forget to let us know how you get on...

[Yoyowife]

The sun will come up tomorrow...

[Dr LOve]

thanks. After going back and forth I think the only thing I am going to tell her is that I am here. I know she is going though alot. She can lean on me anytime . We are in this togeather. I will then ask her if after she finds a job, if will she be willing to go to retroville with me. I will explain to her what is is all about as far as my understanding

Dr Love

OH YEA MY TRUCK PASSED SMOG

[Yoyowife]

I think that is a good idea. From what Sara has said Retro only works if the affair is over. It seems that it is in your case, so I think this would be very good chance for reconnecting.

[Sara]

H, that sounds like a good plan. You guys would really benefit from being taught to communicate. It is a real problem in your marriage.

[saffie]

That's a fantastic idea husband......I really hope she goes for it!!!

[NikB]

H - just a quick question for you, are you 100% clear on what it is that you want?

I'm just asking because going from "Let's discuss a D" to "We need to separate" to "You're free to leave if you want" (with no further discussion) to "let's go to Retro once you find a job" - it seems like you're kinda all over the place. The only thing I see that's consistent is that you want some kind of change, which makes sense, but are you clear on what it is that you want to be different?

Do you want to know what's going on in her mind to get an idea of where she stands on the M?

Do you want her cooperation in repairing your M?

Do you want the limbo to be over with ASAP? (even if that means moving towards sep/D)

Let's pretend it is going to be a very easy conversation and she will go along with whatever it is that you ask for. What exactly do you want?

[NikB]

(I ask all this because when I start asking myself those questions is when I realize I'm still very confused!)

[light switch]

As i think most of us are here.

light switch