Thank you so much Jen_Jam. I am happy to hear that what I'm going through sounds familiar. If I can get to as good a place as you, then maybe I'll be OK.
Not that I need to know, but it does occur to me that it would be interesting to know where your H was in his head throughout these times. I guess I'm just interested, not desperate anymore, to know how my own H is coping through this - where his head is. I can only wonder out loud because I know that my focus isn't entirely on him. He is still in my thoughts. I can't delete him entirely. I do care for him deeply and wish him well. I worry about him. I know that my attention has to be redirected. I will go away in a few days for a couple of reconnecting days with my kids, staying with a friend who has a fabulous way of looking at life. Surrounding myself with those with a positive grip on reality will be a nice change.
Thank you for responding. This site has been a much needed lifeline.
Me: 38 H: 41 D13 D10 S7 M: 15 years T: 17 years Discovery of EA: 10/07 Suspected PA Trial separation: 1/31/08
