Yeah, I know what you mean teenagers. Well anyway let me know how that goes in regards with telling the kids. I have a feeling that once it is out there they're going to need C.
I get what you say about H not wanting to look them in the face to see their pain I think my H will do the same thing and I know once he's out of the house which will probably be soon if I do what people are suggesting, he will not be too eager to come home and make time for kids he'll be too busy with, as you put it, his F*** buddy, it seems only fitting than giving her such a proper name as OW, doesn't it.
As far as patience goes, God give it too me in big doses pleaseeeeeeeee, because my prescription is running out.
Hugs,
gsr1
M 45 H 42
D 26 D 18 S 16
Married 19 years Together 24 years ILYBNILWY 1/7/08 OW 10/11/07 ended affair 3/14/08 came home 3/14/08 last contacted ow 3/17/08 4/19/08 trying to piece marriage back.
I agree, the worst part of all this is what it does to the children. It is horrible.
You use the term fu-----ing buddies. I thought this at first until my ex said that "it has nothing to do with sex, but everything to do with wanting to feel needed." Whatever the reason, it is wrong, not to mention immoral. To repeat the saying a million times, "OW/OP is a bandaid".
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Do you have reason to believe that is what he has planned? I know it is hard not to think that.
From the asses (oops... that's horse's isn't it) mouth. He wants to "experience new R's up to and including falling in love."
I realize it may not be about the sex. I just find it funny (in a dark and twisted kind of way) b/c I was the one who always wanted sex, not him. Could be he needs to feel needed and appreciated in a way he didn't get here. He isn't a talker so he leaves you guessing (always has) as to what he needs or would like.
I'll pass along any insights I get from DB coach in just a little while.
http://www.lawyers.com is one way. Pick family law. Make sure they offer a free consultation. Lay out your sitch and questions so you get the most out of your freebie. Make sure you feel comfortable with them. If not, find another.
And I'm REALLY sorry I know how to answer this, and even more sorry I'm telling it to you.
(((((((Grace)))))))
Hugs, babe.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Thank you so much for the link. unfortunately there is nobody locally that does free consultations and so far the other cities I've checked on do practice in my County. I'll keep up the search and thanks again.
IMO, There isn't any such thing as a good family law attorney! You must know someone in your area that could refer you to someone they have used. Good luck.
I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. You sound understandably angry at the moment but that is so unlike the Grace we know. I hope you are okay. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your girls.
The thing is, I'm really not all that angry. I'd like some legal counsel b/c after a convo I plan on starting, I suspect he'll cut and run. I'm just looking for info. I will not be the one to file.
I'm initiating a convo with H regarding what was said to D's and how surprised I was that it was put in the context of a move to expedite his commute as opposed to a marital seperation. I know this isn't exactly DBing and that it will probably force his hand some, but I am not a doormat. I will not take just anything form him b/c I want so much for my D's to grow up knowing their Dad. I do want that, it is something I've struggled with. I've come to the conclusion that while it's really important for them to have a good R with him, that's up to him. He'll either cowboy up or not. I am no longer willing to watch him do "whatever" in the interest of our D's. If he tells me he's changed his mind about our marital status, I'm willing to see how thing go for awhile. If he has not and is using the "commute" as an act of cowardice instead of talking to our D's and making it "real". Then I have to pony up and do it myself. I will give him the opportunity to be there, if he opts not to be I'll still have that convo with them. I won't blame him, but I won't rescue him either. Since he's moving Saturday, I'd like to have that convo this week while he's still here to answer their questions. This man is clearly done with me. I suspect he'll use the move to "slink" out. I have to be the kind of woman I can be proud of and show my D's my worth so that they'll be able to see their own.
