We can all empathize with you, and I totally understand how you're feeling. Not one of us wants to (or ever wanted to) lose our S'es, but truth is we don't have control over them. We only have control over ourselves and what we want for ourselves.
You told your H that you weren't willing to share, and even though he said he understood, he continues to carry on his A. That's because your boundary wasn't enforced by the one person who matters most - you. Your H will not respect your wishes if you waver from them yourself.
I know it's difficult, but you've got to do what is best for your own well-being. Can you turn your head the other way while H conducts his A? Or, if you can't, can you stand up for yourself, say no more, and show H the consequences of his actions? He can't have it both ways if you are truly not ok with that.
Take care of you, gsr.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
