A NEW PHASE

[kikidee]

As I am unable to post any further on my last thread - CONTACTING OW/OW'S HUSBAND - (I don't know why - was it too long?) so I guess I'm forced to start anew. That's OK. I feel like I'm in a new space. I am staying in the same forum because I have found some amazing people who have helped and shared here. Thank you to all who have supported me thus far. It has most definitely kept me from doing some things which I might have regretted. I have been much more able to think through things, amongst all of the turmoil, with the thoughtful and experienced words of all of you. Thank you . Thank you. Thank you.

After a couple of long conversations with H and some space I am stepping back. It doesn't seem to matter how many times it's been read or you've been told, it's just a process to get to the point where you're able to step back from your S and move forward on your own. I feel as though I am headed in that direction. I am trying to let go of the thoughts of the OW and of what that's done to me. I have known from the beginning that I have to focus on me. I think I'm finally there.

I am now able to breathe. I slept longer than my alarm clock for the first time in about 6 months. I feel a strange sense of calm. It's very unfamiliar at this point. I am hoping that it will help to bolster my strength and to keep me focused on the positive. Where we will go from here, I really don't know. I have very conflicting feelings. I want very much to be able to get to a place with my H that feels good. I hope that we'll be able to get there. The darker side makes me think that he's hurt me too much to ever get there. Let's hope the former thoughts prevail.

Jen_Jam, root, rob1231, zebra - if you're out there, I'd love to hear from you.