It was ok - he was here for 5 - 10 minutes. We had a pleasant talk. I noticed that he looked sunburned and asked about that. He said that he has been going to tanning booth - I told him he looked good with some color. He has mentioned a couple of time that he wants to go on a dive vacation in Florida - it sounded like he plans to leave soon. No mention of diving, just people he knows who are down there that he apparently plans to visit. Some of these people I thought he didn't even like. . . .
I had already told him on phone that we are due a big refund and I wanted him to have it so that he could have some extra to spend on vacation, etc. He said we could split it and I said I really just wanted to be nice to him and generous. Then, I got paranoid that maybe this would be seen as controlling or manipulative or whatever negative spin could be put on it. So, because I am usually a very direct person, I asked him - does my offering the $ to you make you feel controlled. He laughed and said no he was glad to take it all. I, of course, went on to explain myself - that I just want good karma and that I think he works hard and should have extra $ to show for it. He seemed to darken when I spoke about my reasons - too much R talk, I guess; or, I could just be analyzing things to death.
Although I am being encouraging about it, his trip to Fla is a little frustrating for me because during the last two years of M, he would never take time off from work. If I wanted to travel, I went by myself. Now, he appears to be much more flexible. But, I bite my tongue and do not point this out - all I am showing him is that I want him to have this time. In the end, it is a positive change for both of us because it is so much more healthy for him than being a work-aholic.
me: 47 H: 48 he has 2 grown sons M 1995(my 1st, his 3rd) hit iceberg 6/07 S 9/26/07 before now