Husband's Mid-Life Crisis

[addie]

Nlt,
Most Sp do not admit to an A until they are caught and even then many continue to deny anything is going on. Most betrayed Sp have a feeling that something is definitely not right and start to investigate. Now that your suspicions have been confirmed, you may want to stop the snooping because you are only hurting yourself (I am still struggling with this myself). You cannot control what your H is doing. The more you try to make him see that what he is doing is wrong, the more you will push him towards OW. Right now he won't listen to anything you have to say. He is holding on to his fantasy with OW and that's all he can see. I am going through the same thing with my H who is involved with someone 20 years younger. Although this is probably one of the most difficult things you will ever go through, the A will end eventually.
Try to detach from H and be pleasant around your H - this is very difficult to do but becomes easier as you keep doing it. Do not bring up any talk about the M, do not get into any arguments. If H brings up anything, just listen and validate his feelings (you don't have to agree but say I'm sorry you feel that...) GAL - find things you enjoy doing - this will help to get your mind off your sitch and will help you to feel better about yourself. Start reading the book today - it explains it so much better than I can.
You will never forget the infidelity but many sp do forgive and go on to have a happier M. It is very hard work to get to that point.