Hi Kimmie Lee. The party was fun but in the back of my head all night I was thinking about him. I talked to guys but I am just not ready for anything with another man while I am still married. So I just hung out and had a good time with my girlfriend. I think dating is way on the back burner for now.
My daughter is a 180 different person. She doesn't hang in her room all day and night. She has friends over and goes to the mall and has a social life. She comes in my room and sits on my bed and talks to me about her day. With my husband she was not allowed in our bedroom period. She has really bloomed since he has left. I never realized how much she did not like him and how his treatment of her made her feel.
Yes I think that is what I miss more of is just talking to him about my day. I just miss him.
Each and every one of the LBS's here have heard that their WAS definately wants a Divorce.Some actually go ahead and file, but not everyone here ends up in Divorce court.
Mine did. Said he was 100% sure, he told me he never loved me. D was supposed to be final in November. He told me when it came right down to it, he couldn't do it. I went months without talking to him and he came to that conclusion all on his own.
Let him miss you. I hate to say this, but once you start working on yourself....you may find yourself happier without him...especially since he was so controlling. You need to live your life the way you want...not the way someone else tells you to.
I went about 3 months. When kids aren't involved, there is really no reason for contact. I even moved from TX to AL...so we were a long way away from each other. I honestly thought when I left TX I would never see him again. Then he called out of the blue.
Yes, he actually changed his mind on the D date. I wasn't going to court since I had already moved. He went by himself and then said he couldn't go through with it.
Now we are working on becoming friends again. It is a long hard process. I spent a lot of time working on myself and he is still the same person with the same problems...now he needs to work on himself. I have read on here so much that is is usually the LBS decision in the end and I believe that.
What the others have said to you is very true. Take care of yourself. Even if you have no contact with your H, you will be a better person in the long run. Plus you never know who you will run into that 'happens' to know H. This has happened to me on a number of occasions. H and I talk now (1 year later) but in the beginning H went so far as to tell me, "Don't call me! I just wanna deal with you on MY terms!" So I stopped calling, texting everything. Didn't call his family...nobody. Just went on with the program. Eventually he reached out to me...seems somebody saw me out at the store or something and he got a full report of how I looked, how I acted, the whole nine! It took him a few weeks after that but he finally contacted me.
We still don't talk frequently but at least now I can call if I want....I just choose not to. He's receptive to talking to me (not R talks though) and it's cool...I'll take it for now. Don't want to rush into anything.
So take the advice of your fellow DB'ers...do for you and your daughter. That is the BEST thing you can do right now. If H notices and wants to reach out to you...EXCELLENT!! If not....FINE....keep it movin' honey!
I have read on here so much that is is usually the LBS decision in the end and I believe that.
Really? I haven't heard that one but I do hope it is true! Crossing my fingers on that.
My mother and brother are planning to move from here (NC) to TX during the summer and I am thinking about going with her. We used to live at FT. Hood a long time ago and really like TX. She is thinking more towards the beach, Houston or Corpus. Maybe a good thing for me to go. If he hasn't came around by July then I should be confortable enought to walk away.
3 months? We usually last 1 month then talk about the house and how much again he is happy without me. Maybe he feels the need to remind me?
Hi Love-Jones I was just reading your situation. You truly are going through a lot. More than I am . I hope things work out the way you want. I am glad I don't have to deal with him having a baby. I would go bonkers.
Thanks for responding. I hope to get myself moving towards a better place without him. If he comes back maybe by then I can look at him more objectively without him on his pedestal.
I would say do what you want to do and what is best for you and your daughter. I moved because this is home and I had a great job opportunity. If I hadn't done it and then H and I reconciled, I probably would have resented him to the point that things wouldn't work out anyway. Now he has moved here too.
Last night was actually a really good night for me and daughter. I cried maybe 2 tears on the way home when I heard a song on the radio. Otherwise I made dinner and exercised harder, took her to the mall and had a realzing evenging when we got home. By 10:30 I was so tired I couldn't finish my movie. Overall an 8 on the evening scale.
His birthday is Thursday and I was thinking about a card but I am not going to send one. Why should I? He ignored my birthday this month and Valentines. I waffled on getting him a card but now I think it is best. Well off to have a better day!
