You know FLTC sure it sucks because the impact it will have on our kids, our families, our friends and of course each other. But after 15 months of separation and honestly 3 years of relationship challenges knowing what it seems the future holds is liberating. The burden of stress that limboland creates is gone. I have a calm sense of relief and an excitement for the future.
Sure I shed A LOT of tears last night but I kept coming back to one thing, the man I have returned to being. I know this is going to sound strange but when she announced she loved me but wasn't in love with me back in Sept 06 she didn't realize it but she wasn't only defending her aching heart she was giving me a gift. She helped turn me in the direction I had been seeking for some time, a direction that would take me on a journey to rediscover the man I really am.
As I sat up a good bit of the night I kept coming back to something very precious to me, her father. He was a GREAT man and in the 3 short years I got to know him before his death he had a huge impact on me. I have always wanted to very much like him. Yet I struggled for years and never felt worthy enough. Well the gift she gave me took me on a journey where I discovered I had been that man all along. The problem was how I viewed myself. So now I stand tall, stand proud and know I am that man! A man full of optimism, passion, compassion, respect, responsibility, hope, love and above all Faith. A man that let's those qualities drive and direct my every thought, deed, action and words.
Last edited by catfan; 02/26/0801:38 PM.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
