I spent some time thinking about crazy-versus-MLC, and I don't really see a distinction.
MLC, to me, is just acting crazy. We call it MLC and we characterize it and describe the general attributes, but really it is irrational. We can understand why it happens, but still it is a mental health event. In layman's terms, it is crazy.
So is she really nuts? I don't know about your W. For my wife? Yes. She's nuts.
About the $1850 on the credit card - seems like a great opportunity to detach. If she is paying for it with her mother's money, then you don't have much stake in it, do you? yes, she should have told you, but she didn't. Now what will you do? Blowing up won't help. Fuming won't help. it's just par for the course.
Can you just accept it for what it is, accept her proposal to pay for it with her mother's money? Then if you don't want a repeat (and I'd say that is a safe thing to do, from a personal financial perspective), you could move toward closing the joint credit card account. Either take your name off the card, or close it completely. Let her know of course. Could you just say, I think it is probably safer for both of us this way? Would that work?
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
Pretty quite night last night. Went to the pysc he said i was living in a Sh** storm and to try to keep things as mellow as possible. He wanted to know what I was losing if the marrage ended. I really could not answer except for the kids. He said not to ask any questions because i would not get any answers that were true so why ask. Said i was living with a 16 year old at best and either you wait til she comes out of it or you don't. It's up to me. Anyway I feel great today after talking to him. He assured me there was a whole world out there and at the end of this I was going to be fine! Feeling Good!
Maybe I am a little slow. Or maybe I just can not acept what is happening here. I know I am a little lost but I have a smile on my face. I could not figure out why my W was being so nice to me this morning. It turns out that she had planned a trip to PA this weekend to be with niece for her 21st birthday and was nervous about asking me if she could go. I said go for it. My Psyc said I needed to detach and I tell you it is awful nice when she is not around. Very quite and very calm. I look forward to this. It is amasing how nice she can be when she needs something. This is the girl I love, not the angry one. My Psyc says I have some big Decisions to make.
Thanks for your thoughts and support. I am going to do this thing!
Yo BT, I'm not going to repeat what Bomb and the gang have already said but brotha you gotta start acting as if you don't give a fat rats ass what she does. Yup easier said than done, believe me I KNOW GLA and read and reread that DB book bro!!! I know you want some lovin from the lady right now but don't pressure her and don't ask if you should get a GF. One way train the splits ville Bro. If you gotta go beat the Bishop then so be it. Don't be needy and don't tell her she looks like crap too. If you want her back you and only you can change her by actions ONLY.She is doing her best to "make right in her mind" what she is doing to you. Its a deep dark hole bro..don't fall into it. Instead you gotta act like the happy fool and act like nothing is wrong. Be happier around her be nice around her take care of you and the kids around her GAL and such. Be the strong intelligent one who has his head screwed on straight. Somehow you need to act like the guy she fell in love with too. The trick is to not falter around her....when she isn't there THEN you can fall apart, kick cry scream hoot and holler. just get it together when shes around. Trust me...it works.
Last edited by Gman3388; 02/26/0801:53 PM.
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
I just gotta let this stuff sink in and get real good at it. I am in inning #1 and have a long ride to go. I thought I was doing great! Two steps forward and one back. BTW: I always tell her she looks great (she gets kinda mad when I do because it dose not justify what she is doing) and i did not suggest that I go out to get a GF. That conversation grew out of her OP and how it felt to me and then I asked her how it would feel to her if I had done something like that. It's a battle man but i am going to make it.
GLA and read and reread that DB book bro!!!