Just before I went to my therapy session W comes up with the idea that she has to have custody of the kids! Here in NL the default is 50/50 in divorce on everything, property, parenting etc. Her reason why she suddenly wants to void the co-parenting that we have discussed over and over? Because without custody she can't get priority listing for social housing!
Now I might be doing a bit of the same, but since when does W get to use the kids to improve her chances of cheap housing AND take custody of the kids meaning I am left with next to no access to them? W is the one who doesn't want the kids to have a dramatic change in living circumstances but wants to bundle them into social housing instead of letting them live with me in the same home they've had for years? Do I sound angry? I am angry, I don't want to lose my kids and definitely not just because W wants a cheap place to live.
Talked to my therapist about that and other things, she agrees that W is definitely not rational if she believes I will agree to that.
And on to the w/e, not much for Saturday, W was gone most of the day at gym or with the kids to a party, I watched rugby, relaxed, had a generally good day at home alone.
Sunday was interesting though... both W & I were a bit tired, so had a lazy day. W showered after I had already showered and dressed, she was naked in the bathroom and I complimented her on how she looks. W asked why I was making comments after our talk the previous w/e about seperating(? I though we were getting divorced, I think it was semantics, not a change of her mind)... I just replied that it doesn't matter that we are, I can still appreciate how good she looks (or something similar), didn't get a reply from that.
Only got out of the house in the afternoon to take the kids for a bike ride and a visit to the nearby children's farm (with a large playground). At first W didn't want me to go off with the kids, so I went and sat with her on a bench... so she gets up and goes to talk to various mothers from the kids school... So I landed up playing with the kids again, they had a great time and got quite worn out.
After we got back I watched a movie with the kids, near the end I started getting things ready to cook supper, W walks out of the study and makes a snarky comment about how she wishes I would stop being so "heroic" about making supper. Eh? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be making supper if W wanted to help but hasn't had any interest for months now... weird.
Later W was looking for a new job and got all snarky about that too. Walked in to the lounge and told the kids how it looks like she has to look for a full time job again, um, yes? How does W think this new life of independence is going to be paid for if she doesn't have a decent paying job? My salary just manages to keep us ticking over now, with child support & daycare there is pretty much nothing left for alimoney...
Paperwork for our permanent residence permits is done now, yesterday was our official 5 year residence anniversary here. W has to wait for that to clear, then can apply for Dutch citizenship & passport. Wonder if she will wait until after the D so she can have it in her maiden name again...
Oh, also on sunday evening, I was playing a game on my computer while W was in the study doing her thing. I wear my noise-cancelling headphones when I play, means I can play in peace without making a noise. W walked in after some time, mumbled something (which I couldn't hear, game was in full swing and noisy at the time) and then left. Got told off at bed time that I had ignored her when she had wanted to come sit in the lounge and watch tv... Can someone explain why W wants to come sit with me when all she does is sit on the laptop and IM the same as she does in the study?
Me: 35 W: 34 S8 & S5 M: 11 IDLY: 08/2007
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" - Janis Joplin, Me and Bobby McGee
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about dancing in the rain!"
