Finding my way out of the dark

[mishka422]

He was supposed to come here to pick up son and I was going to ride with them. He called right at the time he was supposed to be here and said he was running late and could we just meet him there. No problem. Got there and we spent a few minutes just watching S13 and making a few comments to each other. I was very friendly and relaxed which I think put him at ease. He seemed VERY tense when I got there but relaxed I guess when he saw that I was. Don't get me wrong, flight of the bumble bees was going on in my stomach but he never had a clue! (The push up bra and low cut top probably helped me keep my confidence level up too!) H's eyes nearly popped out - pretty satisfying for me!

We just chatted all during class and then he went to the men's room and I stepped outside for some air. I was only out there a couple of minutes but the next thing I know the door is opening and there he is....looking for me. He came looking for me - totally unusual!!!! We stood outside and chatted some more. I had been thinking that maybe I would let him know that I was going to make dinner after class and ask him if he would like to join us. I didn't have to bring it up, he asked me if I was going to make dinner afterward and I told him yes, linguine with clam sauce. He looked like a starving man when I said that and I asked if he would like to join us for dinner. He said he couldn't (or wouldn't - I wonder which it really was). Later in conversation he mentioned having beans and weenies for dinner - EEEWWWWW!!!!! He hates that stuff! If that is what OW is feeding him he MUST be about to die hearing what I was making. When my friend was here visiting she was joking that H was certainly going to miss my cooking when she was eating my green chile shredded pork burritos. I LOVE TO COOK and H LOVES TO EAT. Too funny if he's eating that kind of yuck all the time! Oh well, he chose this path.....still, makes me laugh though.

No R talk at all which was good. I seriously didn't want to get into any of that. Just thought it might be nice to spend time together watching our son. I hope that he enjoyed the hour and would like to do other things together. I'm not going to contact him at all. He is going to have to make the next move. I already have put myself "out there" enough for one week. He's going to have to make the next move.

This is going to be more exhausting than I thought. I'm just glad he's not spewing ugliness at me like some of these WAS do.

Sorry this was such a ramble. I'm half asleep but too wired to actually sleep if you know what I mean.