Again, I am so touched by all your thoughts and comments.

Sir,
Yep, she wrote that all by herself. I have put my best effort into not saying anything mean or bad about their Dad to them (and I think I've done really well). I encourage them to talk with him about anything. I'm putting alot of effort into getting them to open up to me or him. I don't care who, I just want them to be heard.

mmf,
I think I would tell you to be still and do something to calm your nerves (you know me, talk a walk or work out \:\) ). I'd also tell you to be patient and work on GAL and letting go. All things I need to do and I'm wotking it the best I know how.

kiki, Thanks for thinking I'm aware of my emotions. I'm not completely sure I agree, but I'll take the vote of confidence.


Tonight I had a problem with D13 regarding her grades. She's doing really poorly in 3 classes. I know part of it is b/c of this mess and her fears that she's not talking about. I also know part of it is laziness. I was frustrated and told her I was b/c she just doesn't do come assignments and when I ask if her homework is done she's lied to me. I've asked her to help come up with a solution. Right now it includes my checking everything, everynight, but if it isn't written down....
So anyway, she leaves the room and she's upset (I didn't yell at her or anything, but I did voice my frustration). A few minutes later I see her talking with H. I ask her (after they've finished talking) if she feels better and she say yes. At least he stepped up and talked to her (this time).

I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to keep him in the loop without making him feel guilty. I keep it simple and just state the facts. If anyone has any other suggestions, I'm all ears.

Thank you all.