My husband told me on Sept. 6th that he wanted a divorce. I had no ideal that anything was wrong except that he had been distant to me over the last couple of months. I have discovered since that he met a woman on a scuba diving trip the end of June & they started emailing & now they think they are in love with each other. His plans are to quit is excellant job in Nashville & move to Austin, TX to be with her. I'm so devastated, we were so much in love at one time. He adored me as much as I adored him but he is 48 years old & I believe is going through a mid life crisis. Although he won't admit it. He was bored with our marriage & I had gotten laid off work 3 years ago & only worked part-time which he did not like, so he blamed me for bailing out on our marriage because I didn't go back to work. He thinks this woman has money & I know she had been married several times & is a little older than he is. I don't know what to do. He has filed for a divorce & I countered him by trying to get our house. He is very mad at me right now because of that & also I am going after alimony, but I still don't want this marriage to end. We will be going to mediation on Monday, March 3rd. We dated 3 years & then have been married for 15 years. He acts like he hates me at this point. He has been staying in the same house (in the guest room) with me up until about 3 weeks ago & he took his clothes & said he was going to stay with a friend for a few days, so I don't know if he has moved out or not. He does come back every now & then, will stay a couple of minutes then leave & not say a word to me. I found out he went to Austin over the Thanksgiving holidays & also for 12 days through Christmas & New Years. He came home & acted like he had only been to work, I didn't asked him where he had been. He has also been out there one weekend since & I know he is going again tomorrow through Sunday night. I don't believe it will work with this woman but I don't know how long it is going to last. I really don't know what to do to save this marriage at this point. I know my family would be very upset with me if I took him back but he is the love of my life & I am having a hard time giving him up plus I realize it is a mid-life crisis & that's why I hope I could forgive him. He is or was such a good, kind & caring person but has seemed to change over night. Now he is so mean & cruel to me, not abusive but hateful & very hurtful saying he just wants to be away from me & he doesn't love me anymore. He did tell me that he didn't know what love was until he met me. I have a lot of stuff on him that will probably come out in mediation & I'm sure I will have to use it if I'm going to get alimony & the house but he is going to be very mad. Can you help me figure out how I need to handle this situation? Do you think there is still hope? I cannot imagine my life without him.
