Quote: Thanks Poe. My H knows my LL well and fills up my love tank just fine but sex will still become an issue when it becomes work as you put it or a mere fulfillment of an obligation. For me, it is not a matter of frequency but rather the willingness and the desire on H's part.
lubhubby,
apparently you have two love languages...because it's obvious that physical touch is one of them and h is NOT filling that part of your tank...you also speak of h's lack of "talking" to you...perhaps that's another??
when you say that h fills your love tank...what acts are keeping your tank filled?? and if they are infact keeping your tank filled then why this empty feeling concerning sex?
I totally understand your position...I am a high drive woman with a low drive h...life can be very difficult being the woman on this side of the sex issue.
but the concept of the five love languages can be very helpful once you figure them out.
I know that my love languages are quality time and physical touch (thus the "sex" issue)
I am learning that h's are acts of service and words of affirmation.
how to balance the two...
well I've learned to speak his language...the acts of service being the easiest for me (wish that sex could be one of them but I digress) as long as I do them without resentment and not hold them as colateral for when I'm not getting what I want.
words of appreciation...it's funny becuase when I started to once again use these words with h...he would not accept them...like when you tell someone they look great and they then start to say no they're not and pick themselves apart...
anyway back to the point...
the more I speak h's love languages...the more I learn to hear the languages he speaks to me...the more I can relax about the sex issue and low and behold..suddenly I get a hug...I get a kiss..and occassionally (ok still not as much as I'd like but we're moving in the right direction) I get pulled away to another room (we have little kiddos) for more.
so you see...instead of focussing on what h is not doing to show you he loves and wants to be with you...focus on the things that he does do to show you...and see from there.
hope that helps some..and if nothing else let's you know as a woman you are not alone in your plight.
