Well...Supermom is spent! This cold is knocking me out.
I finally finished most of what I needed to with the papers for the lawyers. I will be dropping them off to her on Wed. Then...let the games begin. Have I mentioned how much I HATE this?!
The past few days (ever since my little backslide with H last week) I am suddenly having a hard time letting go again. The papers make everything so real. I love my children more than anything in the world...but besides them I hate my life right now. I hate what is happening with them too. And I hate not having a choice in any of it. So I know I need to start to make choices for myself given these circumstances. Once all the paper work is sorted out I'll know better what my options are financially. My hope is that it won't benefit H for me to buy him out or for us to sell the house and that will buy us some time.
I've been crying a lot. Today while I was finishing papers I sobbed like a little baby. And then like a little kid I actually called my Mom and asked her to come to my house just to give me a hug. She did. Thank God for Mom's! It's amazing how just that hug made me feel better. She and my step-dad stayed for dinner helped with the kids. It was so good to have them here.
Anyway, tomorrow night H is coming here to be with the kids and I am going out. I have a function for work. It's a formal dinner, so I'm looking forward to getting all dolled up. I'm fitting into a dress that I haven't worn since H and I went to a wedding 4 years ago. At least he'll be here to see me in it!
Well I'm off to bed. I have a lot of sleep to catch up on. J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
