Good evening Treese. I hope your doing well and you do not get snowed upon heavily on Tuesday. I don't get back over to this board very often, been a while, but somehow I did stumble upon your posts, at least this thread. I see earlier you caught the great snodderly's eye, a wise one, who has brought many of us through rough times. On 2/23/08 SirPrizeMe posted some thoughts about how he views his mates current condition, and I would tell you that is a healthy view, and not one to dismiss. SPM is not fooling himself, but rather taking a realistic view of what is transpiring. I noted you did some reading, and others have offered to lend an ear and tell you about similar situations,, continue gathering knowledge about what you are dealing with and will be dealing with for some time to come. All good starts to help you understand what you H is going through (and that is to be differentiated from "doing" - for all intents and purposes he is "doing" nothing but trying to survive his current demons). At times you are taking his actions and inactions personal. Forget it. It's got nothing to do with you. Same with the OW, there are those that go through this with or without an OW or OM - nothing to do with you, it's just what your MLCer is going through. Oh, yes indeed ,you feel like your being treated as the enemy - well you are in his mind (at times) the enemy. Although you and I and everyone else here and those in your world know different, doesn't matter. You are still responsible for everything that "went wrong" in his life since the day he was born - despite the fact you didn't enter his life until much later, still doesn't matter (you would be attempting to apply rational thought, which is out of bounds when dealing with a MLCer i.e. you are not allowed to use rational thought simply because they ((MLCers)) don't) . When you do that, it will only drive yourself nuts. A belated "welcome to the board", sorry you find yourself here, but rest assured, life does go on for you and yours. That is a certain. Can't say the same for a MLCer.
