Back on the Roller Coaster - OW still around

[micoms]

FA,

Instead of focusing on how far you are away from where you want to be, focus on how far you have come, add up all the baby steps. He's come from wanting to leave you and D for OW to wanting to be a family again. That's a huge step for him to make. He's also saying ILY's and initiating contact, texts and phone calls. You don't know what's going through his mind when he's away. It could be that he is feeling the same way, missing hid D and W and the life you shared, knowing he caused this problem and doesn't know how to fix it.


"Last time I asked, about a month ago, he told me he wanted to be a family again. When I asked how we could do that, he said he didn't know."

You could have used your DB techniques here, sit down or talk to H on the phone, set goals, small ones and build on them. Family outing every weekend, a date night for just the two of you every other week, ask if you can come to his hockey games when you have D, a phone call three nights a week to say goodnight before bed, build it up to every night. It might be time to pursue him just a little to let him know you want him back with actions and not words.

I know about getting depressed when things seem to stand still. Even though I'm on AD's I still get down in the dumps also. Just remember to look at where you have come from to where you are now, don't focus on how far it is from your ultimate goal.

Mike