Hi I don't post all that much. I have been separated sinc april 07 after discovering the affair sept 06. at the time of discovery I think I would have made a pact with the devil if it meant saving my marriage. Now I am so glad the devil wasn't buying.
The financials were settled this Jan. I was the one who pursued the legal separation to protect myself and I am glad that I did. My STBXH is paying off ow's debt and the debt that he has since accumulated with her.
I have two wonderful children, both attending university. Both were home with me this past week during their reading week. I have never understood why they call it that... reading is the furthest thing from their minds. I had so looked forward to having both my kids home and being able to spend time with them together. At their age 22and 20 it is sometimes difficult to coordinate. As soon as my daughter was home she began to cry. She had told her Dad what amount she had spent on her text books ( the court agreement was that we split these costs). My son choose to email his Dad after telling me that he was sure that his Dad would react with anger. I assured him that would not happen Boy was I wrong. My H yelled at our daughter telling her how irresponsible she was and what did she think he was, he had no money because he was paying for me and I had it all anyway.
I cried for both kids because I didn't want them to experience this pain and I also didn't want them to see this side of their Dad. I also have recognized the Mrs' Fixit" in me and wanted to make it right.
I got to work this morning and a young co-worker is getting married next weekend. She met me at my desk to talk about her Mom's not coming to her wedding because her Dad would be there. She is 22 and her parents have been divorced since she was 13.
I didn't want that for my kids, so I texted my H asking to meet him for coffee. He responded with ( Your calls are all be rerouted to your lawyer... they were during the legal separation of the financilas because he was on a campaign to control me and get his agenda met. then he said what do you want you have everything.)
My epiphany is that I get it. this man will never be able to see past himself to the impact of his choices on his kids, me or himself. will it always be my fault?. How sad. It doesn't matter if I reach out the olive branch I will continue to be the bane of his existence until he has his own epiphany, if ever. I also relaized this week end that my kids aren't asking me to fix it just to listen and be there.
