Don't cry. I'm sure everyone is praying for you as well.
Yes, my xh really lost his memory and he's still not regained a lot of it since then. Three years ago, I reminded him that I couldn't be friends w/someone who had two deputies come to my house to escort a plastic Easter Egg out the door. He doesn't remember doing that, nor does he remember a lot of the other things he's done, but I have it all documented and locked up for safekeeping. You just never know when you'll have to pull that documentation out.
So, you need to keep looking ahead. Do not be afraid. You are stronger than you think and you've got your family behind you, just as you have everyone here and your friends. You have nothing to fear, but fear itself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
