How do they look themselves in the mirror 4?

[Treese]

Sir;

I would never forget you...this board contains lots of my new friends...somehow I look at it as my H giving me time with my friends...LOL!!

I'm so sorry you are going through what you are...It's like a knife driven into your heart every day....when my H was home I felt like he was punching me in the gut every day because he would either do or say something hurtful...like when I would wake up and leave my room I would walk in to the hall and there was a closed door in my face..the room he slept in...now it is open and I walk all around in there...

my d21 is coming home in a week and I have not told H..he has not contacted her since he left and she doesn't want him to come see her...H has only spent a day or two with my kids in almost 4 weeks besides the 4 days he was here while I was gone...but they did NOTHING!!!I guess he thinks that's being dad for then next 4 weeks..he has all the weekends open so even if I wanted to go out I couldn't cause d15 goes out on weekends...I don't want to take that away from her...my kids have suffered enough right now...

Anyway,,,,I feel your pain and guess what....it sucks....tomorrow I ride with the Alien to volleyball, of course I haven't heard from him...I told d15 if he calls her to let him know what time he has to be here..I'm done with him....he's ticking me off now...don't mess with me and my kids or you pay the price and he knows not to mess with my kids.....

And I can't believe he ruined your palm pilot...psycho....and they think WE are...lOL

Take Care

And Sandy....I loved talking to you....it's so funny how our H's have spewed the EXACT same words.....and our kids with their responses....we have a lot more to talk about.....


Treese

[SirPrizeMe]

Treese, you sound determined! Cool!
You sound Resolved.

I like the sound of it.

I will take car, and you do the same, eh?

[Treese]

Sir;

I am determined....to prove he's a fool...and he's nuts...I'm also determined to make a life for me and my kids....Resolved, hmmmm....not so sure.....I feel a lot better though...talking to others here makes me get through the days, even the rough ones...I hope we all get through this journey in one piece...we deserve only the best, and as they say,,,, the best is yet to come...

I still hope he grows crabgrass in his greener grass...hee hee...sorry....it got the best of me..

(((hugs))))

Treese

[Treese]

Well,
Went to volleyball tournament yesterday, H drove, over hour drive..going down everything was okay..casual conversation....

got there and started out okay until later when he whipped out the ipod OW bought him for Christmas...How can he flaunt that in front of me like that...it was cold....then he was talking to girls at the tournament...and I didn't exist at this time...then went out to his car to use the phone....I know I'm supposed to act as if during these times...but darn it...he was throwing everything in my face...

As soon as I saw him get the ipod out I walked away..I had to, the eyes started to well up...I guess I really don't mean anything to him...OW has every part of my H...and that hurts...

On the way home at first it was silent...then I started casual conversation....then he started talking again about worrying about his job....I told him not to worry about it, it was going to make him sick....we talked a few minutes about it and stopped to eat...

To me he looks depressed, but maybe it's to tell me he's in love with someone else, to let him go...there was a time yesterday when I really wanted to throw in the towel...this isn't right, the way we are being treated....I know, I know, get a life..I'm trying...but why does he have to do the things he's doing in front of me...does he really want to hurt me...

I didn't cry in front of him, although I was close...I supported my daughter.

He looks terrible.....no sleep....living 3 lives....catching up with him?? and he has not been to the gym in a while, said he's weak...hasn't felt good for 3 weeks...

any advice besides get a life...LOL!! I think I'm doing pretty well considering...do I just ignore him or tell him I'm here if he needs to talk or would that look like i'm controlling..


Treese

[Sandyof5]

Treese!!

I got your texts and was on phone with a new friend from CA going thru EXACT same stuff! I told her to come here and poke around and she is amoung friends here...Judy if you see this..."HHHIIII"

Anyhow...Treese you hang in there..its sooooo hard..words cant even describe...I know...I'm living the dream too..sigh

As far as the Ipod...honestly? I dont think your H intentionally pulled it out to hurt YOU. he just did it cuz he did it. He wasnt thinking " lets see..how can I hurt Treese? I know!!! I'll pull out my Ipod!!! That outa do it!"

Nope I dont belive that..He's just plain ole not thinking about much of anything cept about HIMSELF and what hes FEELING at that moment. And fortunately or unfortunately it wasnt really about you..however you wanna look at it. And my guess was it wasnt even about the OW..it was simply about HIM. Period.

Now pick yourself up. Dust youslef off and get back to divorcebusting...K?


This is gonna take every once of energy and self control we have. We have two choices...

#1 Curl up and die

#2 Fight with everything we have. Fight with confidence. Fight with strength. fight with patience...but most of all fight with love.

Is there any guarentee? Sadley No. But I'd rather go down fighting and setting an example for my girls.

So Treese..get you fighting heart on...we have work to do!

[Sandyof5]

Treese!!

I got your texts and was on phone with a new friend from CA going thru EXACT same stuff! I told her to come here and poke around and she is amoung friends here...Judy if you see this..."HHHIIII"

Anyhow...Treese you hang in there..its sooooo hard..words cant even describe...I know...I'm living the dream too..sigh

As far as the Ipod...honestly? I dont think your H intentionally pulled it out to hurt YOU. he just did it cuz he did it. He wasnt thinking " lets see..how can I hurt Treese? I know!!! I'll pull out my Ipod!!! That outa do it!"

Nope I dont belive that..He's just plain ole not thinking about much of anything cept about HIMSELF and what hes FEELING at that moment. And fortunately or unfortunately it wasnt really about you..however you wanna look at it. And my guess was it wasnt even about the OW..it was simply about HIM. Period.

Now pick yourself up. Dust youslef off and get back to divorcebusting...K?


This is gonna take every once of energy and self control we have. We have two choices...

#1 Curl up and die

#2 Fight with everything we have. Fight with confidence. Fight with strength. fight with patience...but most of all fight with love.

Is there any guarentee? Sadley No. But I'd rather go down fighting and setting an example for my girls.

So Treese..get you fighting heart on...we have work to do!

[SirPrizeMe]

Treese - yes, Sandy is right - he's not thinking of you at all. he's not doing it to hurt you. If you react to all his actions, you will torture yourself.

stay cool, stay calm.
I know it stinks to be where you are. Stay strong.

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((Treese)))))
The thing that is getting you is that your view of what he does is totally different than his!

In his mind, he is single. (Never mind the facts.) And the iPod is "just" an iPod. He isn't doing these thing to hurt you, you don't have anything to do with it! So, he pulls out his iPod. He is thinking, "I'll listen to some music." You are thinking, "How can he hurt me like that?" Right now, it is your reaction to what he is doing that is hurting you. That's what you are going to learn to control! And I think you have been getting better at that. Yesterday was hard, you haven't spent that much time with him in the past month, all together! It isn't surprising at all that it was hard, and got harder as the day went on! This stuff is why I think it was good for you that he left the house, it will really help you get yourself back on level ground, then you will be ready for things to get better.

[ba065]

Treese:

Hi...long time no talk....just popped in to say a few things...

First, H is not thinking about ANYONE BUT HIMSELF. He's not doing anything to intentionally hurt you...he's looking out for his Number 1...himself. He can't see beyond that right now...he needs time and space.

If he looks like S#$%...goood! He should. He isn't sleeping well, probably is not eating right...his mind is probably racing with the guilt of what he has done and is doing. That's ok. That's his bed...let him lie in it.

Act As If.....things don't bother you, you're not upset with him, the IPOD doesnt' exist. I know it's hard but try not to let these things get to you. He knows not what he does...really.

Start each day with the things you are thankful for. Then be thankful you are in the right frame of mind to pull things together for the fight of your life. You can do this. H is going to see much more clearly one of these days and you need to be ready for that!

Hugs to you....I think you are doing remarkable!

Love ya,

BA

[ba065]

Oh, and don't give a 2nd thought to OW....she's not worth the time or effort to even type OW out.

Try to let that whole mess go...don't play things over in your mind, it will drive you crazy.

It's out of your control....let it run it's course, it won't last...they can't build a relationship based on lies and that's what they are trying to do....it will fall apart eventually.

Hugs
BA