Getting stronger everyday!

[kissak]

My H called me last night....until I see things his way, I dont think we are going to get along....He keeps on and on. I let the machine pick up quite a few times and once he left a message, it said "Pick up..I have all night".

This morning I got a text from the OW. Asking me not to give up on my H. I wanted to call her and asked If she would talk....she said she would...But I never did. Changed my mine. I just wanted to know what he was telling her. ANy way, then my H called me and wanted to tell me that Him and the OW were finished. There was not going to be any chance of them being together. Which before would have been what I wanted to hear. This time I werent so sure. I asked him what happened and he said that he and her had come to the decision and agreed that there would never be a chance for them. I just said ok. Then he said he was "single" now. Didnt know what was going to happen. then made me feel bad for having him make a decision. I questioned him on that. He said he had made the decision to tell her NOT to take him back. Mainly he was afraid I was going to tell her something to hurt her feelings and he didnt want to give me a reason to. Throwing it back at me. He didnt make the decision based on his feelings, he made it based on what he THOUGHt I was going to do or say.

In the last few days I have seen this man manipulate me, play games, try to control my emotions and when he didnt....he lost it! Got mad, upset and angry and still cant explain why he is mad at me!

He is seeing the therapist today. BECAUSE he said he wants to find out what is going on with him. This man that I have been dealing with is not the same man he was a year ago. He has sooo far to go.

I have finally seen what you all say by letting go. The only thing that is hurting me right now is that I am trying not to let him get to me with his blaming me...that is all he has done the last few days is tried to blame me for everything and make me feel bad....But I dont. I didnt do this. He did.

Wow, it has taken a year to get here....actually a year and 2 months. He is crazier than every. Finally though he is seeing he is getting worse....but he is blaming it on me. I have no idea why. I dont think he knows either.