Well, I cant even believe it is true, but my H has come back to me again for another swing at things.
He came over for lunch last friday (and I purposely looked really hot) because he just wanted to catch up with me. We had absolutely no R talk, just small talk. Then later I told him I was going out car shopping and He said he would walk the dog during that time.
Later he text me while I was shopping and he said: "Can I buy you dinner?". After I had earlier sensed that he was kindof being really nice, I said "sure- where & when". I ended up meeting him at the resturant that we both had worked at for our first jobs ever (how romantic). It was a terrific weekend and I am so excited.
We spent the entire last 3 days together and he really seems to want to make this work. He is even being very understanding that I want to take things really slow. We decided that we would just date each other at first and that he wont move back in until I am ready. He will stay on the couch during the weekends so we can still go out and ride safely home together. But his lease isn't up until May 1st on his apt. and I would like him to wait a while before he just walks right back in my door.
I do fear that he is not out of this crisis yet completely and that he may slip away again - because this is all a complete repeat of the first time he left & returned so far. Also, I have a feeling that he has come back most specifically because he may have felt that I was moving on entirely way to fast and easily with out him (I created lots of mystery).
Any advice would be appreciated. and I will return to tell more tommorow, but in a rush right now. TIPPER
Wow Tipper, that is great news! It's good you both see to take it slow and work back into things. What can you do different this time to keep the glue sticky?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Wow Tipper! I'm so happy for you that you have this chance. Even though you are working on things I would say that the mystery is important...keep it up even in small ways.
I'll pray that your husband is truly coming out of this and will continue to work toward you.
HUGS!!!!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hey all, Thank you so much for the excitment with my situation.
I do feel really scared about all this, but I also feel like he has definetly come out of the tunnel more than he had the last time. I just don't know if there is still a chance of him slipping back into it or not. He still has an addiction to alcohol and going to the bars (especially now that he has made a lot of new friends there).
I am going to try and read up on reconnection/reconciliation as much as I can. I will probably move over to piecing soon but I will likely stay in touch here too.
The mystery was created by not making any contacts with him unless if he contacted me 1st. Also waiting hours or days to answer the phone/text messages. And mostly from getting a life of my own that he had no idea where & what I was doing and/or who it was with. I even went out on one "Friendly Date" that he eventually found out about from a mutual friend of ours.Two weeks later he came back to me. TIPPER
How long has your H been gone? Do you have kids? Just curious...I am trying to figure out how to create mystery when they don't really care what you do....
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese, My H left last march and came back for a 5 month stretch from July through Mid-Dec. THen H left again and moved into his 2nd own apt. for the last 2 & 1/2 months, now he has returned to me for another try.
We do not have kids, but we do have 2 cats and a dog. He loves the dog, and would come over almost once a week when I was at work to walk the dog. This is how I think the mystery began, as I would fill my calender with all sorts of activities, and the house was filled with my new hobbies materials (such as crushed plates from Mosaics I was makeing), and I even hung my dress from the black tie affair I went to with a freind across my doorway ridge to my bedroom. I also took down all the pictures of my H and I together.
Just because it seems like they have no interest in you at all, doesn't always mean that that is the case. I have since found out that my H was asking ?'s to many of my friends about my well being and whereabouts on a few recent occasions. I seriously thought he had no care in the world for me, as he wouldn't call much and we only saw each other twice in the 2 1/2 months that he was gone. ALso the times he talked to me he was always saying things about a divorce. It just shows that you can not understand a confused person. Hope this helps: TIPPER
