True, Ali, true. He said he's sick of money and needs to save it and moving with his parents will help him do that. I don't know how he's saying that though when he told me that his buddy doesn't ask him for rent at all since he understands he's going through a rough time right now. BUT, he wouldn't have to pay for food, parking, etc living with his parents. I think he's looking to save money to catch up on his car payment though, but that's just me guessing.
As for Wednesday, he says he wants to talk to me about alot of things. R talk really, but I don't think a decision will come from this talk....more of just him letting me know what he's been thinking lately.
He knew about it last week BND, before you told me the first time (well,not the first time) to stop, stop, stop. I didn't give him any new info at all.
I'm having a rough day though BND, can you PLEASE help pick me up? You've been here, done this and are great at this!
Dar this is so hard. I am doing so much better now. I do not have this down by any means. I had to take a step back and look in from the outside and realize I have no control over anything or anyone but myself.
I had been allowing every thing h said and did to make me mad, sad, hateful you name it. By looking in I realized I can't control my h, how he thinks, what he feels, what he does and does not do. Absolutely Nothing! When I try, I only get frustrated, disappointed, sad, and just plain hopeless.
Over the past weekend I watched the dvd "The Secret" and am trying to apply the principles to my daily life. It's all about positive thinking.
I realize that I am a beautiful person and am worthy of a loving, supportive, committed relationship. I want my h to join me on that journey, but I can't make him. I am ok now if he chooses to come along or not.
I love our kids, our house, my job, me, my h and life can only get better from here.
Enjoy your life Dar, it's much too short not to!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I forgot to add that it has taken me almost 2 years to get to this place in my life and it hasn't by any means been an easy route. I lost 2 jobs over the stress, almost lost our home, and the list goes on.
Praise God that he has been there for me, picking me up and carrying me when I couldn't do it anymore.
Today was the first day that I have worked out in 2 years. I am finally committed to taking care of glamgirl. I also bought me some new clothes, boots and sexy underwear over the weekend.
It's for me to enjoy my new found self.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
That's exactly what I'm doing Glam! If I hear from H and it's a nice convo then I'm in good spirits. But if I don't hear from him and/or think he's avoiding me, then I'm down. I don't know how to unlease him from my emotions. I wish I could for sure since I know it's only better for me and our daughter!
Dar, The problem is that you are living your life around your Husband and he gets to dictate how your mood will be.
Imagine he no longer exists as your Husband, just as a mere aquaintance or someone from work.
If you see him or hear from him its nice, but if you don;t then it doesn't matter.
Dar, IF he wasn't your Husband and you just met this man, the way is he now, NOT the way you knew him, would you even be interested in having any type of relationship with him?
Be honest!
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Sorry for the delay in replying - my schedule is usually very busy/hectic, and I couldn't get logged in last Friday when I tried to check up on you.
I live in a small town called Sugar Grove, but work in Naperville.
Stay positive if you can. I know NC is very hard, but as hard as it may be to believe, it can help in the long run. It's hard to believe this though at the time, because you want to be with them and make it work, and you'll find yourself questioning how this can work. It's a normal feeling. We all go through it and question it at times until we finally see little things that tell is it is maybe working.
Just remember, although you may still want H in your life, you can survive without him!! Show him that side of you, and as I said before, be happy around him if h does come around, but don't let him get you upset/angry/argue with him.
You can do it!!
Need2Believe
Me: 45 H: 49 Married - 21 years SD from H 1st M - 30 S - 14 S - 11 Asked for D - 8/14/06 Found out about OW - 8/30/06 Moved out 10/14/06 Moved back in 4/1/07
dar or brandnew, could I get Amy's email addy from either of you? dont' know how to go about it since the personal msgs are unabled on this site, thanks! if this thread locks I'm over in piecing.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
