On several occasions, he's acted like he thought I was going to hit him or hurt him in some way. One time, before I moved out, we were actually sorta joking around and i threw a pillow at his stomach while he was on the couch and he jumped off the couch, hands up defensively. H told me that even though he has hurt me he was not going to let me physically hurt him. I have no idea why he thinks/expects this.
Me and my BF had a very harmonious R, no anger or recriminations or fighting, yet he also expected me to be mad at him and hit him !! It must be guilt. However, in the case of your H, I know he was in Iraq right and he seems depressed, maybe I missed this on your thread, but does he have some kind of PTSD !? It wouldnt be unusual for someone to be jumpy after a posting like that? I think it sounds like you handled the lunch well and he doesnt come across as at all happy, quite the opposite! It must be hard for you to see him like that, as it is for me to see my BF so sad.
