Broken Tree, I don't want to hi-jack this thread so I'll be brief. Sometimes when we tell them "I will be your friend" blah blah blah we set ourselves up as some kind of saint. Our S's don't need our forgiveness, our kindness, our friendship because it becomes something else they owe us. I agree with Hound, create space and be a good person but don't do extras that might draw wrath rather than praise. If I do something for my W, I don't tell her e.g. take the garbage out when I pick up the kids, fix the computer (more for the kids than her btw!). I do what I do for me, to stay the person I want to be. Hope this helps and now back to our regular programing
