He sort of sounds like he has ADD on steroids! Any one of his "issues" might be something you could handle, the whole package is scary!
I think you are doing really well. And I think there are reasons to be patient. I just wish he realized that he has been changed, so that he could get the help he clearly needs!
I'd probably be inclined to describe it as a QLC on steroids, triggered by his deployment and depression of course. But, a rose by any other name...or if the shoe fits, wear it lol.
"You ever had one of those wars where everything goes wrong?" -- Hawkeye
Apparently I've gone one of those H's lol. And I need sleep, cuz I'm borderline slap happy!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I posted to you last night, but my post isn't there....weird.
Anyway, I think the meeting with H was good. Wow, he bought you lunch and gave you a hug. Baby steps right? I am glad you got the taxes done. That is one less stress off of you...plus you have money coming your way!
That is kind of weird about the tv show. He is all over the place. He is obviously confused and has no idea what he wants.
One more weird/funny thing. After the hug we realized our cars were sorta the same direction and walked together for a block. As he turned to leave, I saw a pocket clip for a knife in his back pocket. I asked him if he'd gotten a new knife. He looked confused, so I actually pulled it from his back pocket and oohed and awed over it (no faking, it's pretty sweet. it was hard not to ask where on earth he thought he had the money to buy it, but I was genuinely interested in it). Not sure whether it was my enthusiasm or the fact that I sorta touched him, but he was a bit taken aback.
I just had an interesting thought - maybe he was actually worried. On several occasions, he's acted like he thought I was going to hit him or hurt him in some way. One time, before I moved out, we were actually sorta joking around and i threw a pillow at his stomach while he was on the couch and he jumped off the couch, hands up defensively. H told me that even though he has hurt me he was not going to let me physically hurt him. I have no idea why he thinks/expects this.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
The taxes are mostly done, and the money is coming his way. Hopefully getting my half of it won't be too stressful.
He seems happier than a year or six months ago in a lot of ways, but he could just be putting on a good show. He had a lot of people fooled for quite a while after he got home. Or he could just be having a good week. Who knows. But he's definitely all over the place still. I refrained from pointing out to him that he's yet to accomplish anything that was on his list of to do's that I had "stopped" him from doing. Instead he's creating new dreams every week, and doesn't actually seem to be making much progress on any of them.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I remember my H acting like I was going to hurt him too. He wouldn't even come to the house...was afraid to be alone with me. I have no idea why he felt that way as neither one of us has ever gotten physical or even come close. I thought it was weird too.
One time shortly after sep, my H came over and had on new Oakley's. I knew he couldn't afford them and even said something about them. His response? Credit cards are great. Idiot. It is like they have no rational thinking.
I hope getting your half of the money will be painless. Your H just sounds like a dreamer...never satisfied, always grasping for that next thing that will finally make him "happy". He is going to have to work that out on his own.
Hi! Just curious is them being afraid of you physically normal? My husband said in out last conversation that "he is literally terrified to death of me." That I can't figure out?? Why would a grown man be scared of me? So I was wondering if that was common?
I think the fear is really guilt underneath. They feel guilty for what they have done and how they have treated us, so they feel we have a right to be mad at them, which somehow turns into a desire to punish them in their minds. So, they expect us to try and punish them or get revenge.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Guilt is a good thing! I hope he feels so guilty it eats him up right now. Sometimes I do wish I could just thump him on his head to wake him up from all this. But that wouldn't solve anything.
