Loving a WAS isn't easy

[BryanR]

Hi Heather,

I am glad to hear that I can give you a little "boost". I am happy to help out any way that I can. I know how difficult things have been for you, but I also know that if you just stay strong and hang in there that you will eventually have your M restored.

As for me, I have to admit that I have come to just hate weekends! LOL. It was always our family time. We were always doing things as an entire family and now, more often than not, I find myself alone on at least one of the weekend days. I know everyone says that it is an opportunity to work on myself, but I have been doing that. I have made some pretty major changes in my life and in my behavior.

I pray every day for the strength to get through the day and for God to touch my W's heart. I have decided that I will be here for as long as it takes her to come back. I am supportive and loving but from a distance. I rarely call her, I try to make my schedule work around hers so that she can see the kids as much as possible and I pray.

Sunday was tough. I saw her at church and she treated me like I was invisible. She made a point to greet and hug people around me and not even make eye contact with me. Ugh! I didn't react I just left after the service. I could tell it would only get more painful if I stayed around for the fellowship afterwards. I later asked her if I had upset her and she said "No, why?" At which point I realized that explaining it to her was pointless so I just dropped it.

I went back to the church after she left with the kids and got to speak with our pastor. He is very supportive of our family and has been awesome with the time he has made for me. We talked and he prayed with me and I felt much better. I just have to continue to love her and be patient. God is at work and he will reveal things in his time.

We have a MC session coming up soon. I plan on talking less this time and letting her talk more. At this point, this sitch is all about her. I will just tell her that I have come to a decision and that is that my love for her is unconditional and that I will be here when she is ready to come home.

So I am hanging on and hanging in. This isn't easy in any way shape or form. But you know, I have never had anything in my life that I was willing to fight this hard for. I am determined and with some help from above, I am planning on winning this fight.

I pray that things continue to progress for you too Heather. I know that it continues to hurt and that it is difficult to be patient, but God is working on your H too. He will open his eyes to what he is missing soon and you need to be there for him with love and forgiveness. Keep loving him from a distance and let God help him find his way.

Take care,

-Bryan