Fish - Piecing

[houndfan]

Fish,

Got your email... thanks! So for the fans, now Fish and I make two that have navigated to this point from where we have all been. Does not mean that either of us are out of the woods, but I think there is hope in our stories. I am not sure there are enough success stories on this board but now you have 2!!!

FISH - nothing changes for you from here, at least not yet. I can promise you that there will be moments of doubt, stress, and fear from both of you. I can also tell you from my experience that you will have moments where you are angry at her for the experience that you have just been through. I have been able to deal with my anger at my wife by looking at the entire experience as a growth thing. We both needed some time out to change our direction and focus in our lives. We were roommates not partners and I think that our expetations of each other had really changed without either of us communicating those expectations. So when they were not met... well next thing you know she has OM and I am out of the house...


Back home now, but still working hard everyday. You need to remember that too, this takes a lot of work and a lot of patience. She has already pulled the trigger once, and may not be as reluctant the next time that she feels like your Marriage is missing the mark and unfulfilling for her. So, it is up to both of you to make sure that you communicate those things that are causing a rift in your partnership!!!

Fish this is great news, look back at my posts, you had send a message ot me in December about how you were done and I was in a place that you would never be. My next post to you: Never give up - it can turn without you realizing it, once you accept the situation.

Do the good work my friend, and tone it down. Get yourself home!!! My final piece of advice for today is run to Barnes and Nobel and buy Gottman's 7 Signs of a Successful Marriage (or something like that) our MC has suggested that she and I read it and do the exercises and this has been very helpful for us. We have really changed how we communicate and how we extend our expectations. I can tell you that my marriage is happier than it has ever been and the love and support between us is something that we have never felt. I am seeing wonderful growth in my boys and my family as a whole.

I will tell you that this seperation saved my marriage, my sanity, and me!!! So I know that there are some out there that say seperations are very bad and do great damage to the M that is very hard to overcome. In my case, and it sounds like in Fish's, it may have been the bext thing for us.

Good luck my friend, and all of you hanging on the hope that Fish has provided. I pray that you too will have this breakthrough with your spouses!

BTW - we are taking a big step next week as a family by accepting our first foster Bloodhound puppy that will be trained for Search and Rescue work. Something that we are very excited to do as a family!