Friday night we went out to eat. H was pretty quiet. I said "well talk to me then" He said "why do you bother to ask to go out with me and then complain that we don't talk?" My eyes filled and I said "it's pretty sad that after 10 years together we have nothing to say to each other. He said nothing. So I just started talking about D and work etc and so we got off on a conversation without even meaning to. Its funny because when there is pressure we don't have anything to say but once we both relax we realize we do have things to say to each other. I think he doesn't want to talk to me because I have a tendancy to be argumentative. I think I did a pretty good job not being like this last night.
Saturday he was supossed to have a class but the class got cancelled. He called me to say that his student wanted to postpone til tomorrow. He asked my permission to have class on a Sunday. We discussed it and decided to make a final descision about it later. Then an hour after that he called to say he had to go to the shop because the car had a problem with the battery and that he'd be by later.
If he is so interested in leaving why should it matter to me if he has class on a Sunday. If he wants so much freedom shouldn't he be making up his own mind about these things?
I have noticed that when I ask him where he is he gets upset at me for "checking up" on him BUT if I don't call him he'll "check in" with me throughout the day. So no more calling him for sure now.
For now it's easier but what am I ever going to do when he gets his own place? I guess it'll be easier to limit contact but if he signs a lease things will change a whole lot.
He hasn't mentioned the D since I asked him to wait and do a separation first. In Venezuela a couple doesn't have to have separation at all. He could file tomorrow if he wanted to.
We're buying the apartment we live in and he told me I could keep it for me and D. He said that any bank accounts in his name where mine too and he'll pay for school (no quality public schools in Venezuela). Basically all the same s**t without living together.
He texted me today (sunday) to see if we wanted to go to the park only about 30 minutes before I planned on going. Spent the afternoon at the park and then we came back "home" and had a hot dog night. For the 2 hours we were at the park I didn't talk about "us". He brought up the topic of the apartment we are buying and said that he'd have to wait to rent an apartment til after we buy this one. Said buying the apartment is far more important right now. We spoke about a female friend of his whose daughter has been sick and also I asked what she thought of our sitch. He said she's worried about him and keeps asking him if he's sure about what he's doing. Sometimes i think he's trying to convince himself while convincing his friends I told him I am not going to tell him to come home or reconsider because he had to do what he thought was best.
Over all I did pretty good I think. No tears and no R talk from me.
Jen
Last edited by JenInVen; 02/25/0801:58 PM.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
