I am so confused, not sure what hand I am playing

[Snow White]

I agree after the discussion with the MC that I was being too controlling. If he answered the phone I would generally be nice the first time, but he would always say he was on his way home, next time I called back I would be more upset, and so forth. Mostly he would not answer the phone at all so I would call a lot and leave messages. I know I was wrong. I am working on it. I was also controlling with money, partly because H is bad with it. When we got our mortgage there was a note on the credit report about my engagement ring, he was late on car insurance at another point. When we first got married we would each take an "allowance" of spending money that was for gas and leisure. The idea was this money would not be questioned. Later H started putting gas on the credit card and the money was just for leisure. After D was born there was not enough $ to go around so I stopped taking the allowance, he didn;t but sees that he gets an allowance as being controlling. As far as what we eat or do, I have always let my H make the decisions, I am very easy going.

The hardest part about this whole sitch for me is the lack of control, I cannot make him stop contacting her. The 2 times I did contact her put me back in control at least that I felt like I was doing something. Both times it made a bigger mess.

I am a mess again today, it seems like the theme of the past 3 weeks. After closely monitoring me the night before H had his last game of hockey yesterday. The game was at 12:30 in the afternoon. He made it home at 2 a.m. He texted me a number of times between 4 (when he left the arena) and 10:30 asking what I was doing and saying things like be home in 20 min. Then nothing after that. When he came in at 2 he was drunk(shouldn't have been driving, that being said at least I am fairly certain he really was with the hockey guys)and wanted dinner. He was yipping about stupid things in bed being argumentative - nothing about ow. Didn't go to sleep until 3. This morning my mom had to come to watch D. She normally comes at 7:30 but he asked if she could come at 7:10 because he needed to be there since the new guy started today and had no keys. At 7:20 I was still struggling to get him out of bed.