Wantlove, I have a suggestion for you. If you really want some solutions. How about starting a solution journal? I have one right now. Tia and sgctxok have helped me write goals and I check them periodically to see if I am making progress on them.
It will help you feel in control of your life and like you are actually doing something to help the situation.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
For all those who consider that I feel the ultimate victim. This isn't how I see myself. I know there is no magic bullet, and I am constantly trying new things, doing things for myself, giving H time and space, and using it to my advantadge, focusing on me, and, yes, feeling all those feelings that swirl around. I have printed out each and every reposne I have received on these boards and keep them, re-read them. I have taken some suggestions, and left others behind, done what I felt was best for me at that time. I don't want to defend myself, it is hard to read all of the advice, and chart a course of action, and be told that I am somehow functioning in a "deflecting" plastic bubble, as far as the boards are concerned.
Please don;t. Apparently, it is the reaqson other people and I aren;t seeing eye to eye. I just want to disappear, snd not cause any more chaos. Thanks to everyone for their time. I guess I can finally admit this isn;t for me. Best of luck to all who are standing. I will continue to keep everyone in my prayers.
For all those who consider that I feel the ultimate victim. This isn't how I see myself.
I am glad you don't see yourself as the victim. Maybe you didn't mean to come off the way you did in your posts but you did come off as someone with the "victim" mentality to the rest of us. I am not bashing you, I am just letting you know how the rest of us saw it, ok?
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I have taken some suggestions, and left others behind, done what I felt was best for me at that time
And only you get to make the final decision. You have to do what you feel is right for you, but don't be afraid to try new things too.
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I have printed out each and every reposne I have received on these boards and keep them, re-read them. I have taken some suggestions, and left others behind,
This is good. Just make sure you just don't take only the advice you WANT to hear, sometimes you have to take some of the NEED to hear advice.
It can't hurt to try a solution journal. I do have to say that you do sound stronger than the last time you were around.
I was stopping by to let you know I was thinking of you today....your there building snowmen and I'm here making sand castles!! I kinda wish I had some snow to go with my sunburn now
MrsH.....wow! I've read everything you've posted to WL on your thread. GREAT JOB! YIPPEEE!!
I truly hope this means your feeling better and finding your strength again. It was simply wonderful to see you posting such strong and positive things! Good for you!
Hugs to you and the boys!!!
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
Hi Mrs ! Hope you're having a sunny day like I am ! Just wanted to say you sound good lately ! I like your comments to Wantlove, it sounds as if you get the basics and are trying to live by them ! Go girl !
Happy - just a quick thanks, because reading the bits you wrote, helped. I know you're not my biggest fan, but I do appreciate what you share with us ! Take care !
Have a wonderful day Mrsh ! xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
MrsH, I have never posted to you but I have followed your sitch pretty close. I admire your strength and patience. I even find myself getting so angry at your H! I just wanted to comment on something you asked.
Originally Posted By: MrsH
Is it really true that they don't remember half the stuff they say?
My dad went through a MLC and it took him about 4 years to come out of the fog. As and adult child I feel that I got the brunt of it almost as bad as my mother. He is like night and day from when he was deep into it. The other day he told me that people tell him things he said and he just can't believe it. He really has no clue about some of the things he said or even did. He became hateful and mean, definitely not the person I grew up with. Now he is back to normal...very strange. He is unhappy and very regretful of things. He also had an OW for over 2 years. It was a very obsessive relationship on both parts. I am not sure exactly when or how it ended, but now he says he hates her and she ruined his life..(as if he had no part in the decisions).
I am telling you this in hopes that you will see that they really are in a fog. Try not to take what he says personally. It is not about you, it is completely about him. I know it is hard and it seems he is using your boys to manipulate the situation. Hopefully you can get something in writing soon regarding visitation.
Originally Posted By: happyincognito
she was a constant reminder of everything that i was running away from. there were times when my daughter made the same expressions as her and it made me angry.
Maybe this is how my dad saw it and why it seemed that he was running away from me too.
Good for you!
I wish I had some warm sun to get rid of this cold!