WIfe Has left

[ammojmc]

Well one of the reasons that we decided to come to Turkey is because she had mild trouble making friends while we were in South Carolina. I would always want to go out and she would stay at home. I now realize that she never wanted to go out...because it is super hard work to maintain the house manage the bills and the kids. I was there but I was in the back ground. She had made some friends on the internet from Iraq and had been talking to them for about three years. She had mentioned once before that she was thinking about leaving but it was mentioned and never brought up again. So I decide that when she mentioned it that I need to do some changing and I started to get more involved in her interest like her going school and polotics, world events and the such. She grew and interest in the middle east during the three years of talking with her friends online. So I had offered to move the family there so she could meet them. She did meet one of them the one that she talked to the most and he spent three weeks here, and then smuggled himself to sweden to apply as a refugee. This was around Thanksgiving time frame about a week after he had left here is when she told me that she didn't love me anymore and she was going to go home wether I had helped her or not. She left on the 19th of FEB, so for the next two months I did everything that alot of web sites and books said that I shouldn't have like trying to convience her to stay and Telling her that I love her and such.She told me that she loved this guy, that she didn't feel stressed when she was around him and that she wanted to be where ever he was. I was working during his visit and she would visit himm during the day and pick the kids up from school and then go back to visit him until I was off work then I would join them, that went on for about 3 weeks. I want to believe that nothing physical happened between them and she said that it didn't, but I am unsure. I have started counseling myself and the children see a counselor at school. I have been validating her she told me last night she is applying for work today. I told her that she would do great and left it at that. I just hope that she sees that this is super destructive to the kids because she has not been with out them for more than a week in 16 years of marriage. I know that there has to be huge changes on my part and hers as well, but oit seems like the kids are getting the brunt of this.