Worried I found DB too late

[cw68]

Oh my. Just totally slid back. H called. We got into a big R talk. Circles and circles again, nothing new. I knew it was wrong and I just couldn't stop. He doesn't know what he wants. This separation has given him space, which he really needed, but he's still so unclear. It has helped him understand just how huge it would be to break apart the family. Negatives include that he still sees D as a possibility to end some of his pain. I wish I could have stopped myself, but I just couldn't. I swear, this is the LAST time. I have to learn to just zip it! He says though he has physical desire for me, he just can't see himself ML to me.

The positives: He appreciates the fact that I have given him space and that it appears that I'm living with a bit more "zest for life," thanks DR. The door's not completely closed. He missed me at the dinner party last night, missed having me there for companionship.

Since the conversation was a stupid move anyway, I thought I'd just ask him about him reading the copy of DB that I marked up. He said that I didn't need to get a new copy for him. Specifically, I asked him if it was difficult to read things I had underlined and he said that sometimes it was, not so much the underlined parts, but the "exactly!" and "bingo" notations that I put in there and when I asked him if he agreed with any of them he said that he did. He's realized that people are pretty predictable. So, I need to remember this and follow the DB/DR principles!