Doing This all Wrong!! HELP

[water2moon]

Hi,



He is still here. We have one D14. He didn't stay just for her. He stayed because he didn't know what he wanted. I think he also stayed because we have built a lot of equity in our lives after 22 years. He thought about moving out and asked me several times if I wanted him to. At one point I said yes, then got so scared I told him to stay. I felt that having him here at home would be better than having him at his own place where OW would come and go as she pleased!

I told him if he did move out, he couldn't come and go as he pleased. I also said I couldn't promise that I would still be here for him if or when he ever decided between the two of them.

You're in a lot of pain right now. In some ways the lies are so much more damaging than the A aren't they? You need time to heal. He needs to understand that you can't "just forget". I tried to get my H to read info about A's just so he could understand what I was going through. He's not much of a reader. But we did a lot of talking. Once we got past the hurt, we realized we still loved each other.

Give yourself some time and space. Give him time and space, too. You know he has ended it with OW. You can't forget what you know, but you can forgive, you can rebuild.



Don't make any decisions while you're so upset. Detach for know. GAL. Do something for yourself. It does get better....

(((HUGS)))

Joie

Thank you so much for your words..they truly help..so much of this is similar to my situation. I also told him to leave and then begged him to stay..but it was only when he knew I was serious that he finally ended it..But I get no peace..Although I keep making the mistake of reaching out to OW only to satisfy my curiosity..This morning she texted me again then she told me she wanted to talk so we spoke for an hour. she had the audacity to tell me how hurt SHE was.my H lied so much, he told her he slept on the couch the last 6 yrs. When we went on a cruise this past August he told her he went to florida with his brother.I am shocked!! who is this man???? Where is my Husband??

This afternoon she called my house 15 times , she wants closure she says and wants her car keys back that he has..so she threatned him, told him either he brings them tonight or she will go to his job tomorrow..so he did it..Told me he needs to end this the right way or she will continue to call..But i'm dying now and wondering what they are doing..he's been gone for 2 hrs and my imagination is going wild. I don't know how much more I can take.